It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
