Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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