I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
