Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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