Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
