Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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