The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
