Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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