Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
