I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
