her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
