Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
