whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
