I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
