Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
