the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
