yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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