one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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