last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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