Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
