She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
