Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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