apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
