i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
