Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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