out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
