Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(701): View more from North Dakota

two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.

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(850): View more from Florida

I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity

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(260): View more from Indiana

how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much

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(562): View more from California

Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were

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(770): View more from Georgia

The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.

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(212): View more from New York

I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.

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