We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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