Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
