no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
