And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
