We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
