KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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