i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
