and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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