the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
