He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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