We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
