Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
