remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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