Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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