you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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