and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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