I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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