two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
