Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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