Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
