I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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