Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Hoooooo maaaaan

(313): View more from Michigan

Yes?

(248): View more from Michigan

I'm retarded. Again.

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(954): View more from Florida

everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone

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(754): View more from Florida

you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.

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(253): View more from Washington

Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...

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(518): View more from New York

I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.

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(904): View more from Florida

its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out

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(415): View more from California

She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren

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