I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
